Non Veg Jokes

Displaying 9-16 of 1004 results.
Jul
14
2014

She Jo sex ke liye paise dene pade


She: Jo sex ke liye paise dene pade
Wo sex nahi hawas hai hawas!
Samjhe?
He: Aapki Shaadi Ho gayi?
She: Haan! Toh?
He: Free me hui?

Submitted By : sumit
Place : sonipat
17 Likes
23 Dislikes
Rating :   48 Votes


Jul
14
2014

SOLID BEZATTI


SOLID BEZATTI
??Husband: Saare cooking show dekhti ho, Fir b theek se khana banana nahi aata???


??Wife: Tum bhi to Blue film dekhte rehte ho....
Maine kabhi complain ki???
??????

Submitted By : prem
Place : surat
28 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   43 Votes


Jul
10
2014

ladka Docter se Dr me apni Biwi ko chodta hu to


ladka Docter se: Dr. me apni Biwi ko chodta hu to andar jake lund teda ho jata hai...

Dr. ko yakin nahi hota to wo ladka apni Biwi ko clinic me lekar Dr. ke samne chodta he

Kuch din bad kisi shadi me Dr. apne dosto ke sath khada us ladke ka mazak uda raha hota he ki is bewkuf ne apni Biwi ko mere samne choda

Dusri tarf ladka apne dosto ke sath khada Dr. ko dekh k hasta hai or kehta he

"Yar raand laya tha,Jagah nai mili to iske clinic me jakar chod aya."
????????????
, ??
??????
??
????
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??????
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????
??????
??
??
??
....??????

Submitted By : tyagimess
Place : delhi
50 Likes
17 Dislikes
Rating :   89 Votes


Jul
8
2014

During british rule in India


During british rule in India....................


British : hey u Bangali, what is ur favourite plant?

Bangali : Sunflower..

British : Sunflower.. !!
I wipe my ass with it. Hahahahahaha...

British : hey u gujrati.. What is ur favourite
Plant?

Gujrati : rose ..

British : rose !!!
I wipe my ass with it. Hahahahahahaha...

British : hey u marathi.. What is ur favourite plant.

Marathi : Cactus..

British: cactus !! (Silent).


Marathi : aai chya gavat aata ghas na ass..
????

Submitted By : Macc
Place : Thane
30 Likes
9 Dislikes
Rating :   39 Votes


Jul
7
2014

Lutero ne ladki ke zevar loot liye


Lutero ne ladki ke zevar loot liye..

Log bole: Shukar karo ki izzat nhi luti..

Ladki chillai:
Tumhari maa ka bhosda..

Izzat bech-bech k hi to zevar liye the.

Submitted By : Sanju Verma
Place : Ambikapur
37 Likes
6 Dislikes
Rating :   38 Votes


Jul
4
2014

Due to the way our Hindi was pronounced by the


Due to the way our Hindi was pronounced by the Britishers and
the anglo-indians too, this actually comes across as a bit 'dirty' but
if you try hard and get the accent right, you will have a laugh!!
....
Poor Bihari villager named GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher, Colonel Smith

Col.Smith: Haan toh GaandFat rahai (Ganpat-Rai)!!

Bihari: Nahi sir, jyada nahi!!

Col. Smith: Kya 'jyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application me likha Hua hai Gand fat rahai.

Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.

Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)??

Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta
hai? Tumhara application mein likha huahai ki tum Daily marata hai.

Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.

The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith's family asks him to do.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!

Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.

Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai

Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar

Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)
...
baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga...
aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.

Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek
hai,lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.

Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.

Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.

Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ....jo hukum.

After a few days...
There is no one except Col. Smith's wife at home.
She is alone in her bedroom. While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.

So......
Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?

Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth
maro-tie the bra knot).

Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??

Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.

Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko
sarkar kacha kha jayenge.

Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamarigaand nahi maari
o hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.

Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin.
Jo hukum.

Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull.

Panic striken .. the wife tries to turn and shouts:

Wife :
GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!!

Ganpatrai : Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega

Ha Ha Ha Ha !!!! Enjoy!!!

Submitted By : munu
Place : rourkela
51 Likes
9 Dislikes
Rating :   75 Votes


Jul
3
2014

Indian What did u say u dont know who Sachin


Indian: What did u say u dont know who Sachin Tendulkar is..????

Maria Sharapova: I really dont know who he is.. ??

Indian: Its a shame, everytime u have sex, u take his name.. ?? and you say u dont know him..??

Maria Sharapova: Oh God!!??

Indian: Exactly!! ??????

Submitted By : b.s
Place : Pune
33 Likes
14 Dislikes
Rating :   54 Votes


Jun
30
2014

Ek bachha ghar main apne sar par condom pehane


Ek bachha ghar main apne sar par condom pehane ghoom raha tha

Baap: beta yeh sar pe kya pehan k ghoom rahe ho

Bachha: papa school main fancy dress compition hai.. Koi doctor bana hai.. Koi engineer bana hai... Koi teacher...

Aapka beta lauda bana hai...sabki maa chod dega!! ???

Submitted By : Vinil Ghag
Place : Mumbai
78 Likes
10 Dislikes
Rating :   109 Votes